"When did we stop trying to live?" Gerthrude asked glaring at the burning campfire through the glass jar she was holding in her hand.
Still holding her head against the backpack she was using as a pillow, Shannon replied: "What are you talking about?"
Gerthrude stayed quiet for a while as if she hadn't prepared herself for the obvious question. She put the glass jar back in the pocket of her coat but kept staring at the fire that was about to go out. As the flames gradually lost interest in performing a dance for the ladies the noise of the ravens from the surrounding forest increased. Shannon turned over fruitlessly trying to find a more comfortable sleeping position on the cold ground.
After a few minutes Gerthrude felt the question would fade away and be forgotten if she didn't keep dragging it out. She didn't want that. She needed to hear what Shannon thought of it.
"I mean," she finally continued, "doesn't it seem odd?"
"You're not making any sense", Shannon muttered. "Go to sleep."
No. This was important. More important than sleep. At least for her.
"Do you remember the last time you felt alive?"
"I would feel a lot more alive if you let me sleep."
"Come on, think about it. Do you?"
For a moment Shannon stayed quiet and Gerthrude didn't disturb her. She didn't quite understand what Gerthrude was on about but clearly she was persistent about it. There was a short moment of complete silence before the ravens broke it once more.
"Not really", Shannon finally replied.
Gerthrude nodded.
Shannon turned around, facing Gerthrude.
"So what?" she asked.
"So, doesn't it seem odd that we've stopped trying to live?"
Shannon's face wrinkled up in a deep thoughtful expression as she tried to make some sense of what Gerthrude was saying. When she failed at that she simply replied: "That's stupid."
Gerthrude thought Shannon was being hurtful and stubborn, perhaps too stubborn to meet Gerthrude eye to eye on this, but decided she wasn't going to let that be the end of it. She stared at Shannon with an unsatisfied look in her eyes. Shannon closed her eyes and sighed, knowing she wouldn't sleep tonight before this was over.
"It's stupid because we haven't stopped trying to live."
"But you don't feel alive!"
"That doesn't mean I'm not!" Shannon insisted. "Have you forgotten the whole point of this journey we're on is to stay alive?"
"That's not true. We're not going to Ravenwise Alley because we want to live", said Gerthrude with a dead serious expression on her face.
"Well, why are we going to Ravenwise Alley then?"
"Because we don't want to die."
"But that's exactly the same thing!" Shannon snapped in a frustrated tone.
"It's not the same at all! You can 'not die' and 'not feel alive' at the same time but you can't live and not feel alive. There's a huge difference."
The ravens stopped making noise and all they could hear were the silent whispers of the leaves being caressed by the cold wind blowing from the north. It was at moments like this when Shannon was most worried about Gerthrude. She gets lost in her thoughts and Shannon thought it's not always good for her.
"Is there a point to all this?" Shannon asked.
The fire went out. Gerthrude looked odd. Sad, but she was smiling. She said: "I miss living."
She took the glass jar out of the pocket of her coat and played around with it for a while. Shannon decided the conversation was over and turned around again, continuing her unlikely quest for finding the perfect sleeping position.
"Go to sleep", Shannon repeated.
Gerthrude stood up, kicked the burnt out pieces of wood releasing hundreds of little sparks in the air that lit up the campsite for a tenth of a second. She then found a comfortable warm spot on the ground where Shannon was lying just a moment ago. She wrapped her coat into a ball and put it under her head, tucked herself close to Shannon and closed her eyes.
The campsite was dark. There were no stars in the sky. No moon either. It seemed like the closer they got to Ravenwise Alley the darker it got. The only thing bringing the faintest light to the campsite was the small firefly Gerthrude had caught in the glass jar she was now holding tightly to her chest. Eventually its light faded out too and only darkness and the silent whispers of the trees were left.
Gerthrude fell asleep. And then the ravens flew off.